mean mama

- schedule the amnio

- ask daycare if boys can stay there during amnio

- send a card with a note to my late friend’s family, so they know I am one of the many people she touched

- plan lesson for next week’s observations at work

- write more student reports (only 9 more to go + edits)

- call special needs preschool to schedule a visit (left a message)

- call early intervention case manager for third time and ask where she’s been the past week and a half

- look into developmental pediatricians

- call babysitter so we can have a hot date for the weekend

- e-mail parents to see if they want to spend time with the boys while we chill in Manhattan

- buy a shower gift

——–

Things, despite being busy and J getting a stomach bug, have been good here. We had a lovely assembly at work for MLK day yesterday. It just made me love my school even more than I already did. J has been playful and alert since we have been giving him more physical input such as massage and rough-house kind of play. The occupational therapist at my school is giving me insight and suggestions of what to think about for J and where to find information. I feel a little empowered, which is so much better than not at all.

I am just feeling positive. Even about this baby, whose movements, by the way, I started feeling about a week ago. I look at my to-do list, which include references to my kid as “special needs,” and I still feel good and capable. I can’t believe how strong I have become over the last couple of years. I don’t recognize myself sometimes. And I mean that in a good way.