mean mama


on belly shots, amnios, and cravings (w/update)
January 22, 2008, 3:50 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

First for the belly shot face-off. Pregnancy #1 on top, #2 on the bottom. Keep in mind that pregnancy #1 was twins. I definitely have more belly fat this time around, which adds a little extra padding. I think I am actually a little smaller with this pregnancy so far. What do you think? All in all, I’m relieved to be not-so-huge just yet. Though I admittedly enjoyed showing early in my last pregnancy, I have no desire whatsoever to grow very big this time around.

pregnancy #1, 18 weeks (I think) pregnancy #2, 18 weeks 2 days

Next, I wanted to talk a little bit more about my up-coming amnio. Thanks to those of your who commented on yesterday’s amnio question post, and anyone else with advice feel free to add it. I am actually more scared of the actual procedure than the results. I didn’t really consider whether I would ask for the FSH, even. I think my doctor mentioned it as something that their office automatically does (all of us there are high-risk folk, you see). Being that I am having the amnio on the slightly late side, I guess I should make sure to get the FSH results.

I haven’t gotten my quad-screen results back yet, and unless I find out there is something questionable about them, I doubt I will be that anxious about the amnio results. There are a few reasons for this. 1)So far things look good on the nuchal and the recent level I anatomical ultrasound at 16 weeks (level II is coming up in a few more weeks). 2)I don’t really go around thinking there will be something wrong anyway, for whatever reason. 3)I know from experience that the amnio is not the golden key in making sure everything will be alright- we had a lot of problems with J’s health after he was born, especially his life-threatening anemia. (UPDATE: I just got the quad-screen results back, and they look fine.)

I understand that an amnio is a useful tool in decision-making. We have decided that we probably can’t raise a child with severe special-needs. We have various reasons (not defenses) for this. For one, we experienced such scary stuff with J, that having to go through that with a child who we actually know point-blank has a serious condition would change us even more than we’ve already been changed, and I don’t know how we could stand that. And then there is the fact that we kind of already have a special needs child with J’s sensory perception issues. The needs are not as severe as those related to the conditions spotted out by an amnio, but they will take time, attention, and strength to deal with.

The amnio is not something that will give me relief, however, in the way that it has given my friends relief. I know from experience that things can still go wrong. My baby might have problems that go on for months or years, regardless of what that amnio shows. I still could go into preterm labor and have a baby in the NICU. You may think all this odd. You may think that I should feel relieved because I’ll know it’s not something serious, as opposed to the smaller things we went through with J. But let me tell you, when you are going through things having to do with your baby’s blood, heart, swallowing, brain, and tissue, it doesn’t feel small, even if it turns out okay. It feels traumatic. Sure you get over it little by little, but it’s hard to think about doing any of it again.

I will not be able to relax after the amnio because for me it is a more minor piece of the puzzle. Unless, of course, it shows something, and then it will be a major piece. Still, I continue to hope, with relative calm, for good results.

Third, and most importantly, I can’t get enough samosas. Apparently I am carrying a baby who was reincarnated from someone/thing who lived in India in a previous life. I still throw up most mornings, but my appetite has improved, and now what I really want all the time is samosas. All fried up and served with lime pickle. Other foods I’ve wanted in mass quantity during this pregnancy include the following: oranges, grapefruits, pineapples; hot and sour soup; pickles and olives; sparkling lemonade; and iced tea from a mix. During my last pregnancy, I couldn’t stand anything the least bit tart. I preferred mint and mellow flavors. This one, mint turns my stomach and tart helps my nausea. The body is so weird, man.

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2 Comments so far
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I get your fears about the amnio. I was scared too. They had to go into both sacs, so I was afraid i could lose both, even if only one had a leak issue, etc. But I have to say, the procedure was flawless and painless and all turned out fine. In terms of when it needs to be done by, I am not sure. But I am pretty certain that you will be able to replenish lost fluids. My doctor assured me that fluids replenish very very quickly.

I also get what you mean about not relaxing after the amnio. I got my results (FSH first) and found out they were chromosomally normal. But I still worried my entire pregnancy. And now, still, every little thing alarms me. We know too much. We all have heard too many horror stories.

What ever is a lime pickle??!! Sounds delicious!

Comment by Jennifer

Amen! I too was unable to relax after the amnio as I know all too well what can still happen along the rest-of-the-way. It has its place as a good decision-making tool and I appreciate that we have the technology to do this in today’s modern world.

And I also hear you loud and clear on the fact of having a baby with issues pertaining to his/her heart, brain, blood, tissue, etc, doesn’t feel small at all. It is incredibly traumatic, and really…does the trauma ever go completely away? The horrible memories are still there for me, though not as fresh; I wonder if mine will ever go away for good.

How I hope your amnio and everything else still remaining go as smoothly as possible with a healthy, completely normal delivery and baby at its culmination. I mean, really, that’s the least the universe could do given all the crap it’s dished out to date, right?

Comment by Dee




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