mean mama


from l’hospital
March 21, 2008, 2:11 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Still here, still with waters broken, baby still in, kicking and acting like s/he is oblivious to what’s happened. Which is a good thing.  I am continuing to be grateful for a lack of contractions as I approach the 27 week mark. At least the baby measures a week or two ahead. Not enough to make me feel great about other development, but better than having a tiny baby in there, right?All I can say is that this probably had nothing to do with my past pregnancy problems or even any discomfort I’ve had with this one. It is probably very random. I do not believe in the “why me?” thing anymore. That went out the window for me quite a while ago, like when we thought J might have cancer and I actually saw babies and kids being treated for cancer at his doctors’ and thought, “There is no universal force willing this kids and parents to go through this.” Difficult things happen all the time, like it or not.  It’s part of life, and it’s possible to get through such times. All of us are probably going to face a very tough thing or two in our lives.  For me, I just need to keep moving through it hours and days at a time without questioning. We are here now, this is us. This is my baby, and I can only keep hoping for 27 then 28 weeks, and after that get a little greedier, should we be so lucky.In the meantime, I need readers, friends, and family to have the courage to hope with me – to believe with me – that this will have a happy ending. And it doesn’t matter whether it will get that ending months from now. I can take it. But your willingness to believe is the strongest support I could ask for.  Also, if people have any stories of people in my situation where it turned out okay, I find that pretty inspirational.That’s it for now, except to say I miss my boys sooooooo much. And on the positive side, they make me feel stronger than anything I’ve ever known.  Thinking about them makes me feel like I can get through this. This pic came from the nice people at daycare today:missyou.jpg   ps- looks like my mom enjoys dressing them as twins… 

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21 Comments so far
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I am believing for you!

Comment by Casey

Hi meanmama,
I continue to send you lots of positive thoughts and am very impressed by your hanging-in-there attitude.

Comment by melissa

Hi.

I told some friends about your situation. Here was the response of my friend, Mrs. Alexander:

“Don’t forget, I was born just about then. It could be fine.
But I will absolutely send good thoughts.”

She is 33 years old now and a teacher in Harlem. So, just know that in her case, it turned out okay. I don’t know if that inspires you.

I am sending you all my positive thoughts and energy. And seriously, if you or your husband or your boys could use anything (a meal brought by, anything really), let us know. We would be happy to help.

Comment by Co

So glad to hear from you and so grateful for every hour and every day that you get to keep growing this baby. You are in my thoughts constantly and I am sending peace & good growing vibes to your uterus, and nice closed thoughts to your cervix! 🙂

Comment by Jen (yup, another one)

Thinking of you all constantly. I just know things are going to turn out fine.
Love and kisses. And please call us if you need anything. I’d be happy to leave the office to bring you Udon or brownies or anything else.

Comment by Wes

I am also glad for the update, and I’m here hoping like mad for you.

Comment by Chicory

i’m thinking lots of you and your family. i hope the little one stays put, and that you both stay nice and healthy. thanks for the update, and for sharing your incredible strength and resilience. good luck.

Comment by sn

Sending you and your little one lots of positive, stay right where you are vibes!

Comment by JB

I totally believe in that good outcome. Your attitude is inspiring to ME. Know that hope and faith and so much love are coming to you from my direction.

Comment by hd

Co already told the story of our friend. So I’ll just say we are full of hope for you.

Comment by Lo

hoping like hell for you!

Comment by amy

so so glad for an update.
sending you so so much love & good mojo. Seriously- I am willing the Universe to take care of you. The Universe owes me so it better effing come through.
xoxoxo

Comment by Calliope

Hang in there!!!!!! We are all thinking of you everyday and wishing for the absolute best! Know that we will be here to listen to any and all complaints, whining, and just plain bitching! I hope that little bean can stay put for a few more weeks, and you can rest assured you have the best that you can.

Comment by Jean

Came over here from Bri’s – I wasn’t a reader before, but have been thinking of you ever since reading on Bri’s blog what happened. I will definitely be hopeful with you. And I have two good stories:

1) My now 13 1/2 year old neice, born at 29 weeks, very early for the time. Beautiful, brilliant child.

2) My husband’s colleague had PROM at 24 weeks. Immediate hospital bedrest. Developed an infection and delivered at 26 weeks. Not the scenario you are hoping for, but her daughter is now 2 and is a happy, healthy, thriving little girl.

Comment by Michelle

There will be a happy ending.

My friend Jen was pregnant with twins. Baby G kicked a hole in his sac, causing a slow leak. She was one hospital bed rest and kept the babies in for many more weeks. The fluid just kept replenishing itself, as it does. She went into labor and delivered at 34 weeks, a little three weeks after she went in the hospital. She would have lasted longer but the pressure of two babies on her cervix, which was already starting to shorten way before the rupture…you know the drill.

Second story: I was getting an ultrasound when I was in the hospital for my whole MRSA thing and was wheeled next to a woman who had been in the hospital since 25 weeks. She was having a breakdown bec. they kept her waiting a long time and she just wanted to go back to her room. I started talking with her and she said that she was in because of a a fluid leak and risk of preterm labor. She was in her 38th week and was going stir crazy. And wanted to be induced.

I also hear about women with leaks who are sent home and told to just keep an eye on their temperature and watch for signs of fever.

I hope this means you have internet access to pass the time. Hang in there. I’m thinking all good thoughts.

Comment by Jennifer

I am SO clapping my hands! (I DO believe, I DO!)

For the record, the NP (nurse practitioner) that tried to get me knocked up for over a year has a daughter that was born at 24 weeks. She’s a beautiful, healthy, spunky kid. Just as a point of reference.

Comment by shelli

My water broke a little later than yours, 31weeks. I stayed pregnant til 32 weeks 4 days, hooked up to IV antibiotics and dosed with terbutiline. As you certainly know by now, they don’t like to check your cervix when you PROM. My contractions at the end weren’t registering much on the monitor. But they hurt like hell. The morning my daughter was born, I woke up feeling immense pressure. Doctors finally relented and checked and she was crowning. She spent 3 weeks in the NICU learning to eat and to quit holding her breath. She’s now almost 2 and the smartest toddler out there.
I’ll be thinking positive for you! And if feel something pressing down on your pelvic bone, tell the nurses!

Comment by kari

I believe! I do! And I am sooo glad for the update.
All my hope is going up your way.

Comment by starrhillgirl

de-lurking to say we believe! we have friends who went through a very similar situation last year and had their little girl right around where you are (26 weeks!) and all was/is fine! hang in there and what beautiful boys!

Comment by Dolores

Thinking about you both down in TX. Wes has been keeping me updated and sending you all good thoughts and hope.

Comment by Bill

Thinking great thoughts for you! I actually have an uplifting story plus some pictures about a friends little boy who was born at 28 weeks (last June). Please drop me a line if you’d like to hear about him.
Best of luck to you!

Comment by Jen, the dismantled armadillo




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