mean mama


a change
April 16, 2008, 9:08 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

About an hour ago, I started spotting. This could mean something. Or not. They can’t do an internal to check for anything, so we don’t know what’s happening w/my cervix.

I am so scared to have a 30 1/2 weeker. I am excited to possibly meet my baby, just preferably not now. I am hopeful about actually having a vaginal birth. I’ll feel like a bit of a failure if I can’t sustain this, even though I know it’s for the best if he needs to be born.

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12 Comments so far
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you are *not* a failure, no matter what happens. you and meanbaby are both incredible and have sustained a lot already. good luck, good luck, good luck.

Comment by sn

you are one of the strongest, most together, balanced people I know. you are doing a remarkable job coping with this pregnancy and you are an amazing twin mom. i am truly in awe of you every day as i struggle with my twins. hang in there. i know you can handle it.

Comment by asia

You can’t be a failure at something you can’t control. You are doing a REMARKABLE job. Much better than most people I know (myself included).

I hope it is just random. If I recall, pregnancy books say that this can happen in the last trimester. Your last checks have all gone swimmingly. That said, while nothing earlier than 4 weeks is ideal, I think past 30 weeks is excellent. AND that baby is strong and healthy and big.

Thanks for keeping us posted.

Comment by Jennifer

Just stopping by to say hang in there! I recently had gall bladder surgery and was away from my boys (3 and 1) for 4 days. I missed them terribly, but as one nurse told me, I was no use to them until I got better. I’m sure your boys are in good hands, and your littlest one needs you most now. God Bless.

Comment by S

Please keep us updated and let us know whether you need anything. We are thinking of you constantly.
-B + W

Comment by Bri

Sending all sorts of positive vibes your way. Hopefully this is nothing. You are getting you and your baby the best care possible — there’s no way you can be a failure. You have done amazing job of taking care of yourself and your baby and handling it all with such grace. You and this little one are both strong, and whatever comes your way, you’ll go through it together.

Comment by JB

You are doing an incredible job. Back at 26 weeks, we all hoped you would make it to 27… 28… 29! 30 was almost too much to dream of. But you made it this far and I hope you go a lot further. Sending white light, especially in the direction of the spotting.

Comment by Jen (yup, another one)

Thinking even harder of you.

Comment by Lo

Hope that spotting means nothing.

And–as others have posted before me–while I can understand the feeling, you are so NOT a failure, especially given a situation that is outside of your control.

Hang in there…I’ll be thinking of you and the littlest boy.

Comment by Dee

I hope it is nothing, but if it is something, we are sending good thoughts and good luck (we are sending those in any case, actually). Keep up the amazing work. Forza meanmama.

Comment by Amanda

thinking of you and hoping the spotting is just a whole lot of nothingness. you are so far from being a failure, but i can see how you would still tend to feel like it…

that meanbabyboy has a mind all his own, and when its time, it will be time… he is a very strong boy, too ~ like his mama!!!

i will hold you in prayer when i say my night prayers tonight…

much love and sending you peace of mind…
xoxo

Comment by gypsygrrl

Please let us know how you are doing. You are not a failure. I have a unicornuate uterus and most baby’s are breech needing a C-section, as well as premature. So I guess that would make both of us failures…which we definitely are not šŸ™‚ What it makes you is raw and honest and sincere. That’s the makings of a great person, not a failure. Sending some hugs!

Comment by sara




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