mean mama


and the days drag on.
May 18, 2008, 11:59 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

All together, now: Any word on when he is coming home????????????

NO NO and NO!

Sorry, a little bitter I am. This is a perfectly natural question, and I understand why everyone and her Great Aunt Tilly asks it, but geez, there is no knowing when he’ll be home. He has to not have any bradycardia (heart decelerations) or oxygen desaturation for 5 consecutive days before he is released. So far the most he’s gone is 2 days. He just had a brady this afternoon, in fact. He is only 35 weeks old today. Some kids are over them by now, but his brothers, for example, did not spring the NICU until 37 and 38+ weeks old, because of bradys and desats. Some kids keep having them past their due dates, though I don’t care to think of this because it’s just too much.

The heart and oxygen stuff sounds dramatic, but really it’s just a lack of maturity. It’s typical of preterm babies. Some hospitals send home babies on a home monitor, but at our hospital I think that’s usually reserved for babies who’ve been in the hospital so long that their parents will soon need to be committed if their babies don’t come home. Or something like that. Really, it’s tempting to wish MBB could come home on a monitor, but I don’t think it’s best. While the 5 day thing is torturous (especially when you are at 4.5 days, and the baby has an episode, and they restart the 5 day count-down!), the system is in place for a reason. I can say that with conviction, having had a baby that needed to be rushed to a PICU 3 short days after leaving the NICU. In other words, let MBB be well as he can be before coming home to me, please. Please let them catch any problems before he is declared ready and able. I don’t need any more gray hairs or stomach ulcers.

But.

He is becoming cuter, more babyish, more mine. It is getting harder to leave him at the end of each day. It’s weird. This time in the NICU is definitely at least a little easier. After all, I leave my twins in daycare every day, and the result is that I have learned to trust others with the care of the people most important to me. That really makes leaving MBB in the care of nurses and doctors less foreign and scary. But at the same time, I know what it is to be a mother, and I know now that I am competent at it, so leaving him with someone else is all the more frustrating when I know I could give him the love and closeness he should have at this age… that he doesn’t get in the NICU, as good of a NICU as it is.

<Heavy sigh.>

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7 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Hugs, hugs, hugs. This is no fun, I know. Let the ABCs end soon and MBB come home to his family.

Comment by Jen (yup, another one)

Having been there to a small degree with D, I know better than to ask. I know the good news shall come in time. No need to go bugging you for the specifics 🙂

Even though you’re more used to it this time, I know it must still be hard at times to leave the hospital while he’s still there. And you’re right–especially when he could be getting the love and physical closeness he’s not getting in the NICU…been there myself. I took comfort in knowing that at least my girl wouldn’t remember her time in the NICU….but it still sucks.

May MBB get over the As and Bs in due time and join the four of you to make five at home. What a wonderful day that will be and I know it will be sooner rather than later.

Comment by Dee

Lotsa love to all of you.

Comment by Lo

hang in there…you’re doing a wonderful job of it all. (and post more pics of the little guy if you can!) big hugs to all of you.

Comment by Dolores

I know what you mean- My Swim was only there in NICU for 8 days but every one of those 8 days was filled with 16 people asking the same question. SHUT UP ALREADY! But have been following you and you are doing great 🙂
Lets see some pictures!!! And stay as strong as you’ve been- its getting you places 🙂

Comment by Neenie

Thirding or Fourthing the request for pictures of the MBB!

Comment by artsweet

Glad he’s a feeder and grower now!

yippee. . . .

Comment by mrs.spit




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