mean mama


a specially special kind of day
July 23, 2008, 3:41 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Air-five, everyone!

We got J into a special ed preschool, where he will be 1 of 12 kids who scored high on the cognitive part of their testing but are mega-distracted. He will get his therapies there, too (physical, occupational, speech), plus we scored a sensory gym visit 45min, 2xweek. All paid for by the City, thank you very much.  And to put the cherry on top, the school is a 5 minute walk from our apartment, and M may also be able to attend in a mixed general ed/special ed classroom (not J’s classroom) hopefully 3xweek. In the end, I’d gotten him into 4 good schools, so I guess all of the gut-wrenching insanity hard work paid off.  Thank God we reached a destination. This process began shortly before I was admitted to the hospital in March, after all.

Of course, being the mean, grouchy sort of mama that I am, and being even more that way today since I’ve (1)been up with MBB since 4:30AM and (2)am about to have to do my least favorite activity ever, making scads of doctors appointments for the kids, I have to mention two beefs I currently have, related to the above topic. I may elaborate in future posts:

– It is almost funny how people act toward you when they hear you have a kid in special ed. It’s like you are suddenly a minority at a very snooty fundraiser. People are awkward and way too accommodating and just… weird. I am certainly not thrilled that my kid needs a special ed setting, but at the same time it means nothing more to me (at this point) than that he will get what he needs to learn and enjoy learning.  People assume that J must not be smart or able, neither of which is true. We are very fortunate that both our sons are smart, but I daresay that parents put way too much emphasis on smarts. What about happiness, ease, self-confidence, compassion, a sense of humor, talent and special ability? I will not put J in a mainstream classroom to have him yelled at for not sitting still or acting out during group activity, at the cost of the things I listed above, just so that I can prove to myself or others (or him) that he is smart just like the other kids.  His smarts will emerge in a supportive and engaging classroom environment.  The main problem would be if I couldn’t find this for him.

– I freaking CAN’T BELIEVE that in NYC kids have to start kindergarten the calendar year they turn 5! My kids will be 5 in the month of November. So let me get this straight: you’re asking me to put preemie twin boys, who turn 5 late in the year, and who are NOT advance for their age, into kindergarten, and then always be the young kids in their class for the rest of their academic career? Jiggawha? Talk about stupid. I don’t know what I will do about this huge, gaping hole of a problem.

Okay, rant over, and back to my preschool-finding celebration. Tra la la, la la!

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7 Comments so far
Leave a comment

yay!!! We will turn to you in a few years when we have to deal with pre-K drama….

Comment by Lo

that is kick ass news about getting J into the preschool you wanted. But 5 years old?!? holy fuck
that is just nuts.

Comment by Calliope

Yay on good schools! But, as a Pre-K/K teacher I will say that our class was drastically different when they changed the cutoff from end of December to end of September. In a good way. Kids were much readier. Which made everyone happier. And we’ve always allowed families to defer a year if they think that’s best for their children. I’m not saying that to alarm you–I’m sure your boys will do fine. Especially coming from a kick-ass preschool. More just supporting that you’re not nuts for thinking that’s early and wishing for a different option. But you already knew that, didn’t you?

Comment by thiscait

That’s fantastic – but boohiss for inflexible policies that hurt kids!

Comment by artsweet

(1) congrats on finding the kickass school for J!!! and for being such a openminded/open-hearted mom to totallt GET that him being in the best learning venue trumps the “what others will think” bullshit out there in our world…

(2) wow. weirdness on how young they are to be in K.

hugs to you and the whole meanmama family!

Comment by gypsygrrl

Hurray for working the system and getting J. into a great preschool that will meet his needs!

I didn’t know that about NYC schools and kindergarten. That’s absurd.

Comment by Co

Congrats on finding a school that sounds perfect for your son and is so close to home! I think it’s fabulous that you know what he needs and you went and got it for him. i’m changing careers to be a teacher- and I wish there were more parents like you, who saw what their child needed and went after it. Instead of forcing them to fit into a classroom that makes them struggle so much.

Comment by JB




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