mean mama


look who’s a (faux) attachment parent!
August 31, 2008, 7:09 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

If the core of attachment parenting is on-demand feeding, co-sleeping, responding to baby’s cry, and baby-wearing, I could almost qualify for the job this time around. If fact, the only other tools of AP, according to Dr. Fears Sears, are being wary of strict parenting advice, birth bonding (not possible in a preemie’s case), and “balance” (ha ha. ha ha ha. HEE ha, HEE hee, HO HO HO!).

This time around, i.e., with a singleton, it is much more possible to follow AP principles. Not that I’m trying. But co-sleeping, for example, is just convenient right now. He sleeps in a little bed next to mine, and though he rarely wakes up (I know, I’m totally stoked!), I am right there for him if he needs me. I respond to his cry and usually hold him/”wear” him when he wants to be held. I feed him whenever he wants, though I did this with the twins too, so nothing new. The point is, it’s just a lot easier with one.

There remains, however, an obstacle to me meeting the AP qualifications, and that is that I simply do not want him on me ALL OF THE TIME!  Maybe there is something wrong with me, maybe I just got burned out from feeding and caring for twins for so long, but I just. do. not. want. a baby on my person that much of the time. It is hard to manipulate things even in the most comfortable of slings or wraps or carriers. It is tiring. It puts him in danger when I’m trying to lift/discipline the boys at a moment’s notice. And it just leaves me feeling overwhelmed and smothered (not to mention hot!). That is not to say that I’m not either feeding, holding, or carrying him much of the time, but the rest of the time I think if he is content and so am I, what is wrong with having him in a seat where he can see me or, hell, stare at a wall fixture and laugh his baby ass off (yes, he does)?

Don’t answer that.

Anyway II am happy to do the things I’m doing while they work, but you can bet that if we need to change things around, I won’t be too worried putting the 7 tools of AP back into the dark of the toolbox.

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3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

J. used to stare at the entirely blank wall of our bookcase. I worried, a little.

I too have found myself a faux attachment parent…..’cause it works…

Comment by Lo

too funny!

Comment by Dolores

If being a faux attachment parents means co-opting a few of the AP strategies while simultaneously thrusting pins into a Dr. Sears voodoo doll, I’m right there with you.

Comment by anythingsaid




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