mean mama


What’s new?
September 4, 2008, 3:52 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Almost everything.

I am going crazy over here, getting the boys ready for school and trying to find a nanny for the baby. (And excuse me, but a nanny? How is it that I am trying to hire a nanny? I am so not fancy enough for this.)

Monday will be the boys’ first day in their school. J will be in his special ed class, and M will be 2 doors down the hall in his inclusion class (he is general ed).  This is the first time they will be separated all day, every day (it’s a 6-hour/day program). Up to now, I’ve been cool as a cucumber about it, but I’m beginning to wonder how they’ll do. They are night and day opposites and not exactly the best of friends, but at the same time they like to be within proximity of each other when they aren’t home. I am nervous. Nervous from a parent’s point of view. Putting on my teacher hat, I think they will be just fine, eventually. The mommy hat swallows up the teacher hat, though.

It’s also hard because they are just… well, growing up. They still act babyish sometimes, of course, but the fact that they are even old enough to go to school that much blows my mind.  And did I mention that M has entered the “why” stage? How is it that my two-year-old can conceive of “why” in the first place? That’s a whole new brain function right there. And J is becoming more sophisticated too. He now pees on the potty frequently, puts on his own clothes (to the degree he can), and tells me he’s “drawing  a banana” and then draws three shapes that look just like bananas. I know none of this qualifies either of them for Baby Mensa, but it is mind-boggling to me, the former mother of baby twins.

Yesterday we went to pick out backpacks for school, and there were only about 7 varieties to choose from. All of them were butt-ugly, of course (that’s what happens when your parents are procrastinators- slim pickins.) Anyway, here’s what they chose:

Now, the Hell.o Kitt.y one may be kind of cute, despite the fact that M has no idea who that character is, but the hot pink camo is a killer. I don’t know whether to be more offended by the camo or the color. Holy hell.  I tried to steer J, who chose it, to another pack, but he’d already tried it on and that was that. At least it was on sale (shocker, I know). The girly packs should match the rubber fireman rain boots that they picked out quite nicely. (The packs are currently loaded with trucks and trains, by the way.)

The other big thing right now is trying to find a nanny for the baby, and for taking the boys back and forth to school (thank god it’s only a couple of blocks from here, because walking 2 kids and a baby to and from anywhere isn’t easy). It is very nerve-wrecking for me to go through this process of finding someone who seems trust-worthy enough to care for my very hard-won infant. I am looking forward to going back to work but not to leaving the baby. No one should ever assume that this is an either/or decision. I think many of us would choose to put our babies in a papoose on our backs and just go about our careers. But no dice on that one. Anyway, it is an uneasy time for me. Until I meet that “right person,” I will be a ball of nerves I think.

Speaking of work, I still have tons and tons of work to do to get ready for my return. I am not going to be able to stay after school to plan, and I won’t have much time at home to do so, either. This is only my second year at this school. Last year I worked 3 days/week and taught half of the student body. This year I will teach full time and teach the whole student body, which of course has changed since last year because some kids graduated and some kids are new. That means that I will not go in knowing many of the kids, and that is especially hard when you work at a school for kids with learning disabilities, whose behavioral nuances and learning styles matter a lot, even in their arts classes. (I might say especially in, actually.) I love that part of the work- figuring out what makes these kids tick and helping them to learn and do in my particular subject. I do believe that’s partly what makes me good at my job. That, and my ability to find creative ways to teach otherwise boring stuff.  It’s a lot of work, though. I go back in mid-October.

I was just going to write about the baby and how good he is at night sleeping and how bad he is at naps and how I am just realizing that he has no nap schedule and I have not helped him with that, so why would he be a good napper, but he just woke up from his first real nap. So bye.


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5 Comments so far
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i want a HelloKitty Pink Camo backpack!!!
you are a cool mom to let your kiddos get what they wanted… (bet next year tho, backpack shopping will occur sooner, no?)

heehee

Comment by gypsygrrl

u ARE a cool mom!

Comment by Dolores

wow. those are some rockin’ backpacks. Camo for kids is so weird b/c they do it in these crazy ass colors. I remember last Easter seeing plastic Easter eggs with a camo print in different colors. WTF?!

But love that you let the boys pick what spoke to them.

Comment by Calliope

Gotta love those backpack choices!

Hope you’ve figured out child care. Yeah, I know what you mean about not feeling fancy enough to have a nanny… I can’t imagine being one of those moms… but then when I think about how much day care might cost for more than one kid, it somehow seems more possible. I think calling the child care provider a “nanny” somehow feels fancy. I think that’s why some people I know — who really do have nannies, technically — say they have a “babysitter.” It just sounds less… affluent… somehow.

Comment by Co

The guilt of going back to work is simply numbing. My daughter was 10 months old when I returned to work. She was just the right age to speed crawl after me, crying of course, when I tried to escape the daycare. Guilt, guilt, guilt. All rationale and reasons for needing to work melt away. I think I stared at the wall for the first week back at work. But we moms are strong…and luckily for us, so are our kids.

Hope you found the care you were looking for and that you had a good first week back at work.

Comment by badmommymoments




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