mean mama


service à la russe
September 29, 2008, 1:44 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

The last time I was in a bath house was in Hungary during my college years. Women beat our backs with branches.

This one was in Manhattan, and though there were no beatings, it was verrrrrry Russian nonetheless. Lots of big hairy men speaking Russian, and lots of beautiful young women with showy cleavage also speaking Russian. The place was a little broken down, but all in all it was a great place for a bachelorette party.

A college friend of mine is getting married soon, so a lot of the ladies at the party were old college friends. Out of 10, I was one of only two women who had any kids, and about half were single. It was nice to be among women and not just mothers. Admittedly, I was asked and talked a lot about my crazy experiences so far as a mother, but my experiences have been kind of extreme and therefore interesting to others. For me, it was refreshing to hear about these women’s careers, relationships, talk politics and religion, and just be. We swam, jacuzzied, saunaed, steamed, were insulted by a really mean waitress (“no ice for you!”), were offered a menu of smoked fish at the juice bar (where vodka is not on the menu but seems to be readily available in big bottles nonetheless), and chatted.

The bride-to-be asked advice from those of us who were married. The first thing that came to my mind was, “Pick the right person,” which is not very useful advice. But I also noted that things will really suck sometimes, and it will probably cycle out and be okay; also, try to maintain as much balance as you can in your individual life -sometimes that will be almost impossible, but hold onto the desire to do things that interest you/meet your own needs and you’ll be okay. Some other people said similar things to the “it will suck sometimes” statement. Others said talking a lot is important, while still others said that sex is the key. It’s all true, I think.

The night ended with me realizing that I had left my bag of underwear on the kitchen table at home. You know things are a little acey deucey in your life when your main concern is that the bag may have fallen out of your backpack onto the street, causing you to lose your best nursing bra, as opposed to being upset that you’ll have to wear your wet bathing suit under your clothes all the way home. But they had hair dryers so I just dried the butt part so that water would not soak through my skirt. It was fine. All my friends were so concerned, and me? Not. I guess once you’ve been through the shit I have in the past couple of years, these snafus are nothing more than laughable. Truly.

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